Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
Randomize
