dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
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