Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
Randomize
