I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
