She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
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