My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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