Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
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Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
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apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
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