standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
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