"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
foreskin is a definite game changer
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
We smell like vodka and hangover
Randomize