I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
My life is pants optional.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
Randomize
