ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
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