i would punch a child for taco bell
It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
Boobs speak an international language.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
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