I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
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