one two three fourrrrnication!
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
Dicks are not precious.
Randomize
