When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
The air was thick with penises
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
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