If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
The cops high fived after they tackled you
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
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