go do what you do best...puke behind churches
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
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