Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
