she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Randomize
