i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
i think my cat just said my name.
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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