I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Randomize
