I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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