The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Randomize