THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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