I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Randomize
