Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
Randomize