So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Randomize
