just tell him i said nine months
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
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That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
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