i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
