I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
