Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize
