i barfeds in our rink
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Randomize
