Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
