There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
It's Friday. Sex?
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
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