Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Randomize
