So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
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