how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Randomize
