We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
