I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
Just cropdusted the office
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
