i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
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