Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
Randomize
