break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
