you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Randomize
