She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Randomize
