I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
I have already put on my inside pants.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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