I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
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