Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
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