I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
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