cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Randomize
