just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
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