I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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