i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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