I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
Randomize
