just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
