speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize
