now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
i can't believe i had my finger in that
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Randomize
