drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Randomize
