We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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