Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
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