Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
I am naked and annoyed.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Randomize
